Leaving Dos

There are Stag Dos (Bachelor Parties)
Hen Dos (Bachelorette Parties)
Christmas Dos....
And the Leaving Do
 
In this new normal, I am surrounded by the comings and goings of people that have come in and out my life at a pace much more rapid than I'm used to. I moved abroad to shake up a change, to experience new things, places and people, and this aspect of the expat life has lived up to that expectation. Spending all your time with just a handful of people is a less stable plan in this kind of environment, and so the best way to cope is to say "yes" to every invite. You have to constantly adapt and I've learned to cast the net wide and grow accustomed to attending a lot of leaving dos.

Why so many? For one, a majority of my friends are also foreigners. The UK office of my company does a lot of international work and transfers people from around the world when the need arises. It's funny how these people tend to migrate together no matter where they're from. I needed only to be introduced to a handful to fall into several groups of fellow expats, widening the circle of friends and acquaintances in this town rather quickly. The flipped side of this is that inevitably, these people will leave. Not all at the same time of course, but one by one, most will eventually move on or go home.

Oxford itself is a very transitional city for its English residents considering the University, but for many expats, it seems to not keep people for especially long. The restless world traveler in particular. I'm amazed at the bravery of many of these new friends, because it's common that they pick up and move country, seemingly without the serious thought that I put into it. I hear when you've done it once, you're able to do it again much more easily. The tasks of meeting new coworkers, fostering new friendships, and those necessary things like a bank account and finding a place to live, come more naturally the second time around. They figure it out and the challenges don't phase them.

And what do you do at the do? Drink, Eat... be Merry. It's usually the place to be, an opportunity to cast the net wider, and they're never a dull time. You see, in England, the leaving do is a free pass for "adults" to leave the kids with their spouse, have a few pints with their colleagues, and not have a curfew. Quite a lot of gossip can result when some people are let loose that don't get out often! Speeches are made, rounds are purchased, hugs are given, and people stay till the lights come on in the bar.

I have 3 leaving dos to attend this month alone. And I've said "yes" to every invite.