Say What You Mean

My Dad sent this to me a while ago and it's true. All of it.
  
I have to remind myself of these above nuances in work situations but I have gotten used to it by now. Luckily, most of my clients are international and from all over the place so they tend to say what them mean!  Hopefully I haven't offended anyone by saying what I mean in an obvious manner, instead of the unobvious, roundabout, easily miscontrued way that is customary.

I learned quickly if someone says to you... "I would prefer it if..." it means "Do it or else."  If you offer something to someone and they say "Oh I don't mind" it means "I'd love some but I don't want to be a bother so I'm going to act like I don't want any but yes, I do."

After sending this grid to some Brits they refuted some of them but I don't believe it. I think they just know their own secret unspoken language that they've been brought up with that the rest of us are meant to uncode!

T as in Tango...

Kilo Romeo India Sierra Tango India November

This is how you spell my name in the NATO/ ICAO phonetic alphabet.  

Americans know some of these are military, air traffic control or police codes thanks to the movie industry, but the Brits have cleverly adopted these abbreviations into every day life. Ask one, and they'll probably be able to tell you most of them.

Ordering take-away Chinese food? Giving your license plate number over the phone? Calling an airline? Spell it with the phonetic alphabet.

My American friend pointed this out to me and said that when her English husband witnessed her order food on the phone one time, he was bewildered and puzzled to hear her fumble to come up with words on the fly.

It just makes sense! With the prevalence of outsourcing help desks, customer service lines etc... its has become even harder to communicate without having to spell everything. With the phonetic alphabet you don't have to worry that word you've just come up with will be misunderstood. Not much rhymes with "Sierra" and so that "S" can't be mistaken. Since it was brought to my attention I've noticed that my company's help desk people in India have been trained to spell with this same alphabet too...

If you've ever had to give the name of your street to the customer service line for your cable company, you know the process:

"M?"

"No, 'N' as in ummm...... "Nun."

"Mum?"

Sigh.

When I was moving to the UK, I had set up movers to come help move me out of my condo. When I called back to check on some things they had no record of my appointment. After much back and forth and time wasted we figured out that the reason the lady couldn't find my appointment is because the person who took my call the first time put my last name down as "Dunker". Serves me right for not taking the time to spell it out as I usually do!

Do yourself a favor, memorize the chart and next time you're talking to a help desk in Bangalore, you might just save some major frustration.

Fill-turd Coffee. Fun with Language

Two countries divided by a common language. That George Bernard Shaw... he was so right.




I knew before I came I'd be learning a new language and yet, the English language can still surprise me daily. I've never been so cognizant of my choice of word or phrase on such a constant basis. The tone, the pronunciation, the volume... nothing like moving to a foreign country to make one hyper-self-aware. Even if they "speak the same language". There were words I knew in advance of course, and I read up on some of them, yet I still have some type of regular revelation.

•  Whilst. They do say it... I was hoping it was a myth. I already sense its going to start creeping into my vocabulary any day now. It will start with writing it in an e-mail, then it will come out of my mouth and sound awkward in my ears.
• I had a Rocket, Goat Cheese and Sun dried Tomato Pizza. They said Rocket was a leafy green. I thought it might be like Arugula. Rocket = Arugula. I figured right.
• "The faucet is dripping." "What?" "The faucet." "You mean the tap?" Faucet is not a word in British English. I got a laugh.
• Maths. I had my Maths exam. I'm not very good at Maths. This was a word surprise where I heard it and thought, lisp?  I did not know this one and in my opinion it just does not roll off the tongue. Say that ten times fast. They argue Mathematics is plural and therefore this is the correct word. I googled it, and this guy's blog  Separated by a Common Language has a rather lengthy defense of "Math" if you are curious.

 There have been a few timely articles on BBC News that have definitely hit home for me: Why do some Americanisms irritate people? Followed by the reader's input Americanisms: 50 of Your Most Noted Examples , and an American lexicographer's response Viewpoint: American English is getting on well, thanks (which is trying to be a little too 'clever' towards the end but he has some good points).

While I understand the annoyance in the creep of baseball terminology into the language of the English (ball-park estimate, touch base, out of left-field), I agree with Grant Barretts opinion --"The original version" is what Engel calls British English, which is like calling one's firstborn "the original child". English is, in truth, a family: American English and British English are siblings from the same parentage, neither is the parent of the other. They are two siblings among many modern-day varieties."

If the English language wasn't meant to evolve, we'd all be talking like Shakespeare right now. Which word choice or pronunciation is 'correct' is not the point. Although my new friends and colleagues are quick to quip that theirs was the original and therefore, correct!

Other things:

• This conversation happens about every other day:

"Kirsten is it?" "No K-R-istin...." "Oh Kristin, oh okay." This is usually followed with a "Sorry not a common name here so I keep wanting to say Kirsten" when they inevitably call me Kirsten again at some point.  Apparently my name does not roll off the British tongue.

• I bought my sheets and mattress topper (my bed is as hard as a rock!) at TK MAXX. No, you didn't read incorrectly. It's called TK MAXX here because someone apparently already had the T-J taken.
• The first time I ordered at Starbucks here, I asked for a cup of coffee and they said "Fill-tuhrd Coffee?" What? "Fill-Turd Coffee?" I nodded yes. Not knowing what they meant. They went to the coffee pot so I was satisfied I had communicated properly and then my eyes glanced to the board. "Filtered Coffee"... I've since learned that if you want milk in your coffee you order a White Filtered Coffee. The Fill-turd coffee is so strong it barely changes color with milk!  
•  The British keyboard is pretty similar with a few slight issues ... the Enter key is much farther over to the right and there are some other keys including the # key in between so when I first started using one, my typing looked like#  this whenever# I have a new paragraph# or second thought# in an IM window# or email. I'm getting used to it. Just like everything else...